Kingdom Hearts:Uncut & Misunderstood
by TheDarkside901
Summary: Riku falls in love with a girl and has dreams of getting freaky with her. Sora confesses to his true love, and Ansem acts like a total bastard.
1. Chapter 1

Kingdom Hearts: Uncut 'N' Misunderstood

Chapter 1: Bad School Day

Here at Destiny Islands High, fifthteen year old Sora just walked into his English class five minutes late. All his classmates could tell that he didn't get enough sleep because his spiky hair was all frizzy, and his clothes were wrinkled. All eyes were on Sora as he walked over to his desk on the left side of the classroom. He sat down behind Riku and he turned around and smiled.

" Hey, Sora," he said. "Feeling okay?"

"No!" Sora replied immediately, taking out his pen and paper. "Why didn't you wake me up, Riku?"

"Well, you were still asleep," Riku said."I didn't want to wake you up because you will get all cranky."

The English teacher, Ms. Krobopple , walked into the classroom and began to pass out the previous work to the students. Sora received his and looked down at it. There was a big, red "F" markedc on it.

"An F !?!" Sora exclaimed. " How did I get an F ?"

"Well, it's obvious that you didn't study," replied Ms. Krobopple, walking towards her desk.

Sora cursed under his breath as he balled up the test and threw it down.

Later….

At lunch, Riku and Kairi both sat at the table where Sora was with his head down.

"Hi, Sora," said Kairi, sitting next to him. Sora mumbled without looking up.

"What's wrong with him?" Kairi asked Riku.

"He didn't get enough sleep last night," Riku replied, drinking his milk.

"FOOD FIGHT!" someone yelled.

From apples to watermelons, flew across the cafeteria. Some people hid under the tables and others stood on top of them. Riku grabbed his pizza and hid under the table, along with Kairi.

"What should we do about Sora?" she asked.

"Just leave him there," said Riku, eating his pizza.

Still asleep, someone threw a bowl of salad in the air, and it landed on top of Sora's head. Some students started laughing, and then…. The principal entered into the cafeteria. His name was Mr. James A. Wallace. Mr. Wallace was kind of short and cubby, and he had a bald spot on his head.

"EVERYBODY, FREEZE!" he bellowed. All the commotion in the place came to a complete stop.

"Whoever started this," the principal began. "Please speak now or every person in this place will receive detention… For a week."

"I did it!" Riku said. Kairi glared at him and poked him in the ribs.

"Who said that?" Mr. Wallace asked.

"Sora!" said Riku.

Then, the principal marched over to where Sora was. He stood behind him and tapped him on the shoulder .

"You don't need to hide your face, son," he said.

Sora slowly lifted his head up and turned around.

"Come with me to my office," said Mr. Wallace.

After school, Sora was told to stay for something he didn't do. Too tired to complain, he cleaned up the whole cafeteria under Mr. Wallace's watch. You can probably sa that Sora had a very b ad school day.

AUTHOR"S NOTE: I know that this chapter was probably boring and too short, but I'm working on my next chapter. All I need is some sexy Nobodies.


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Hi, this is me again with my new chapter. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Disclaimer: I'd never owned the Kingdom Hearts characters. But I own my evil self. BUWAHAHAHA!!!

Chapter2: Nobodies & Heartless Crush

Sora didn't go to school that Tuesday morning. He slept throughout the day, and his mom gave him some chicken noodle soup, along with his favorite orange soda. He was quite upset that Riku lied on him about some stupid food fight. Around three o' clock in the afternoon, Riku and Kairi came over for a visit. Sora was so happy to see Kairi, but he wasn't happy when he saw Riku.

"Hi, Sora," said Kairi, sitting on the edge of the bed. "Feeling any better?"

"I guess," said Sora. He looked up at Riku and gnawed his teeth. "I am going to kill you for this, Riku."

"What?" said Riku, pretending to look perplexed. "What are talking about, Sora?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about!" Sora yelled.

"Look," Kairi began. "I just came here to give you the homework our teacher gave us."

"Thanks," Sora said miserably.

"Well, see you tomorrow," said Kairi. She and Riku both walked out. "That was very mean of you."

What!?" asked Riku, getting annoyed. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"You know," Kairi stopped walking. "I've noticed something. You've began picking on Sora for the past few weeks."

"I've always have," said Riku, looking at Kairi through his long, sexy bangs.

"Yeah," said Kairi. "But not like this."

"What's going on, Riku? Do you like- like Sora?"

"What the fuck!?!" Riku said, frowning. "No! He's just a friend."

"Yeah. That's what they always say." Kairi continued walking, and Riku just stood there.

Do I like Sora? Riku thought. Nah!

After Riku came home, he found a note on the kitchen counter.

"Riku," he read. "I'm gone to get some drugs for your crack head father. I'll be back soon…. Mother."

He put the note down and went to the refrigerator to make him a turkey sandwich. For a moment, Riku knew he would have the house to himself… or so he thought…

At The World That Never Was….

"I hate being a Nobody!" a boy named Demyx said.

He was talking to a dude with fire-red spiky hair. They both appeared to be wearing long, black hooded cloaks.

"Relax, man," said the red haired guy." Being a Nobody can't be that bad."

"Are you crazy, Axel?" asked Demyx. "Xemnas keeps telling us what to do. Like, cook his food, wash his clothes. Even worse, clip his toenails."

"Well," said Axel with a short laugh. "At least I don't have to do that."

"I'm tired of wearing this hot cloak," said Demyx. "I rather be naked."

"Speaking of naked," said Axel, picking up the remote. "The Playboy Network is on."

"WHERE"S MY FUCKING HAIR GEL!?!" a male voice bellowed from upstairs.

"Uh-oh," said Axel. "Sounds like Saiix is throwing one of those tantrums again."

There was a tall man with long, sky-blue hair coming down the stairs huffing and puffing. He walked over to Axel and Demyx.

"Hey, Saiix," said Axel.

"What did you do with my hair gel?" asked Saiix, breathing hard.

"I don't know," Axel crossed his arms.

Saiix raised his right hand up and stick out his index finger and placed it on Axel's head.

"What's this?" he asked, putting his finger in Axel's face.

"I don't know," replied Axel.

"You've just put some gel on your hair this morning, didn't you?!" said Saiix.

"Okay, okay, okay!" Axel got up." So what if I did used up all of your gel?" My hair needs some, too. Got it memorized?"

"Well, get THIS memorized!" Saiix punched Axel clean in the face. Demyx, however, shrieked like a girl and ran away.

Meanwhile…

Riku was sitting on the couch in his Inuyasha boxers and no shirt, showing off his tight muscles, and he was eating some chocolate ice cream and watching "Dawson's Creek" on Tivo.

"Psst!" someone whispered outside of the window.

"Who's there?" Riku looked over his shoulder. All he could see were a pair of orange eyes and some silver hair.

Riku placed his bowl of ice cream on the table and walked over to the window.

Ansem??" he said, a little surprised. "I thought you were dead?"

"Let me in!" Ansem ordered.

"What's the secret message I've told you about?" asked Riku with a toothy grin.

"Look, damn it!" said Ansem. "I'm burning up out here!"

"What's the message?" Riku sang.

"Alright," Ansem sighed heavily. "Don't forget to brush your teeth, if you want to kiss my feet."

"Thank you," said Riku. Then he opened up the window and pulled Ansem in. "What are you doing here? You know Sora's gonna be pissed when he finds out that you're still alive."

"So?" Ansem started walking around the house as if he lived here. "You know, I thought I would never see your face again."

"Huh??" said Riku, puzzled.

Ansem was looking at him as if he was delicious.

"Why in the hell are you looking at me like that?" asked Riku.

"Come here," Ansem said seductively.

"No,"

"Come here,"

"NO!"

Later…

"Why do you like me, Ansem?" asked Riku, who was handcuffed to the head board of his bed.

"It seems that every girl likes you," Ansem replied, holding a whip. "They can't take you away from me."

"Look, Ansem," Riku said. "I do NOT like you, okay? In fact, you're too old for me. You don't have boobs or an ass."

"I do have an ass!" Ansem protested. "You wanna see it?"

"I think I'll pass," said Riku, disgusted.

"Oh, so you're offended now?" said Ansem.

"I didn't say that," said Riku.

"Well, I'm still going to show you my muscular ass," Ansem got up and unbuckled his pants and revealed his…faints


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: I was in my room dreaming about Riku getting freaky with some girl, and I woke up and had an idea for this next chapter. Sorry to disappoint you people who would like to see Riku get freaky, but he's not going to get his freak on any time soon. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own the KH characters, but I do own Hana.**

The Girl

At school, Riku was sitting next to Sora with a horror look on his face. He was mumbling some words to himself.

"Uh, Riku," said Sora, looking at his best friend shaking. "Are you okay?"

Riku was still mumbling some words he couldn't understand. There was one word he immediately recognized.

"Ansem!?" Sora blurted out. Luckily, there was a male substitute taken over for the math teacher. He was leaning back in the chair asleep with his mouth wide open.

"Riku!" Sora said, shaking him. "Tell me what you know about Ansem."

"Don't touch me, man!" Riku panicked.

"What's wrong?" asked Sora.

"Man, I don't want to talk about it " Riku put his head on the desk.

"Is Ansem still alive?" Sora asked anxiously.

"Don't say his name!" complained Riku.

Just by looking at the expression on Riku's face, Sora knew something was wrong.

"He forced you to get freaky with him, didn't he?" he said.

"Look, that's none of your business," said Riku.

Just then, something caught his turquoise eye. There was a girl who looked like she was the same age as he was. She was very beautiful with her razor-cut brunette hair and a cute smile. Riku couldn't help but noticed that the girl was revealing her sexy legs in her black and pink skirt and her matching tank top.

"Who is that hot chick?" Riku said, his eyes still glued on the girl.

"She must be a new student here," Sora guessed.

"I'm gonna check her out," said Riku. He got up, put on his sexy smile as he approached the girl. "hey. What's your name? Mine's Riku."

"Hi," said the girl, kind of shy. "I'm Hana." She looked over at the substitute who was snoring loudly. "Is this your teacher?"

"Hell, no," replied Riku. "Would you like for me to take you on a tour in this school?"

"Sure," answered Hana, smiling.

Riku winked at Sora as he walked Hana over to the door. They both walked down the hallway and went outside.

"So, you're from here?" he asked, sitting on the bench underneath an oak tree.

"No," replied Hana, sitting next to Riku. "I'm from Tokyo."

"You guys probably party all night, huh?" Riku smiled.

"I guess," Hana, laughed.

There was a moment of silence between the two. They both stared at each as if they were thinking about kissing.

"I like your flip-flops." Riku said, trying to break the silence.

"Oh, thanks," said Hana.

Later, Sora came out running towards Hana and Riku.

"Hey, guys," he said, panting. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing," Riku said. "Now go away."

"Is he your brother, Riku?" Hana asked.

"No," answered Riku. "He's just a friend of mine. Don't pay any attention to him. "C'mon, Hana. I wanna show you something." He and Hana both got up and walked away.

"Hey!" Sora shouted behind them. "What about me?"

Later…

Around five o' clock in the evening, Sora was over at Riku's house to play a game of Battleship. Riku wasn't really paying close attention to his ship; he had Hana on his mind.

"I've sunk your ship, Riku," Sora told him.

"That's nice," Riku said, daydreaming.

"Riku! Wake up!" Sora yelled. "She's just a girl."

"No, she's not, Sora," Riku said, resting his chin on his left hand. "I can't wait to marry her."

"You barely know her," said Sora. "What if she's a lesbian?"

"I'll still marry her," said Riku. He leaned back on the leather couch. "Sora, when you first met Kairi, what was your reaction?"

"I don't know," Sora said, trying to remember. "Happy, I guess. What is it that you like about Hana?"

Before Riku could answer the question, the door opened and Ansem came in.

"Hey!" Riku immediately got up. "How in the hell did you get my house key?"

"Your dumbass left it underneath that mat," said Ansem.

"Get out!" Riku pointed at the door.

"Make me," Ansem sat over on the couch and knocked over the Battleship off the table with his foot.

"My ship!" Sora whined and getting down on his knees.

"Ansem," Riku said through clenched teeth. "We have explained this before. I do not like you."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Sora walked over to Riku. "What's this going on?"

"Butt out!" Riku and Ansem said simultaneously.

"Ansem, I have a crush on someone else," Riku said, sounding proud. "It's a girl."

"You have a crush on a baby?" Ansem said stupidly.

"No!" Riku said. "There's this girl at school I like."

Ansem sat there with no expressions on his face. Sora was over by the refrigerator trying not laugh.

"So," Ansem said slowly. "Who is this girl?"

"Her name is Hana," Riku told him.

"Fine," said Ansem, getting up. "But don't come crying to me when your girl dumps your ass." He walked over to the door and left.

"What a bastard," Riku shook his head.


End file.
